what it is... lol

I don't know what i should type. I know i should type for myself and not for others. I kind of like typing my thoughts... sometimes i like writing better. it keeps me sane. I wanted to write a book. when I was 20 now im 22 and i gave myself a 10 year limit. so when i turn 30 i better have a book published and the whole deal. i wanted to do a an auto b. but i think i need to take a class on how to do it. i just ramble on and people probably wouldn't want to read it. it's one of those things. hey! i watched Into the Wild. that movie was really good. it 'd be so great to be able to do that. I'm not sure what we're afraid of that won't let us do that. we subscribed to the local paper in our town and when i was younger i wish we had that, i mean subscribed when i was younger. now that we're subscribed i don't even like to read the paper anymore. this is a real cliche statement but it feels like high school. I've noticed that everything seems to relate to high school. but the paper, it feels like a gossip magazine but for our town you know? all this things come in ink everyday and for most of the time i don't even know anything about it, even though it's typed in the paper. I think it's one of those things where i thought it would be interesting to know but if i can't help or be involved it doesnt' mean much. i don't know i can't really express my thoughts on most subjects. i guess unless you know me i make more sense. not perfect sense but you grasp a little something.
this is me rambling on about what i think. it's weird but i can't seem to talk to anyone. I have the greatest friends but for some reason i can't seem to be how i used to be. loud, happy, fun. i feel the complete opposite of those terms. i think people are starting to see it. and they worry which doesn't help me at all. this is fun. typing. i like writers... i love books.